Well it seems to be baring my soul time on my blog at the moment, so I may as well carry on! Regular readers of my blog will I'm sure have read about my implants (that's not the booby doo type) but the far less glamourous dental sort, and I have been suffering! Not from pain or discomfort from them, simply the embarrassment, and the fact that I can never for a minute forget this blooming foreign body in my mouth. As good as it looks, its like a tasteless sole of a shoe, which will be staying with me until the end of the year.
When I arrived home to Spain from Brighton, Alan met me at the train station, with my bag already in the car ready to do a zumba class I'm not embarrassed to say I had a little cry, I was feeling so low. I can talk and type about it now as thankfully I am feeling a lot better. However that feeling stayed with me for a month... actually I lie, it got far worse!
My sarcoidosis mainly affects my thyroid, although I do have quite a few other niggles that often rear their ugly bits. Itchy eyes, dry cough (which I have had for about 3 months), tiredness, although being unable to sleep properly (had that recently too) and my brain ..... well that is certainly not on form, saying the wrong words and being unable to find the correct word is often a problem I have..... and that's just for starters!
When my thyroid is misbehaving, I will wake up and feel there is a physical weight on my shoulders and head and it kind of wraps it's way around me, like a grey foggy cocoon. I even feel I cannot stand straight or walk tall. I go very quiet and only speak if I have to, it totally consumes me. I know Alan picks up on it straight away although we don't talk about it. Strangely enough I seem to be able to open up, not when it's at it worse, but maybe a day or so after. Possibly thats the hormones beginning to correct themselves and the edge has been taken off!
This time it was particularly bad and I would wake up with dread on the days I had to do my zumba classes with my lovely ladies. Of course all dance teachers are great actresses and I got through it, although sometimes close to tears on the journey into town. It would remind me of how I felt in the UK, before I stopped teaching.
I did a bit of research and apparently after the dental procedure I had done, and in fact any procedure at all can trigger the Sarc, and of course if your immune system is low you may become unwell. It is nearly 6 weeks since I returmed from seeing my lovely family, and I am starting to feel better. Normally I will wake up one morning and know immediatly the cloud has lifted, this time though it's lifting gradually, which is ok as long as it's shifting.
Last weekend we had a lovely time with friends that I'm sure helped me no end, plus I ate different foods! I had been eating a main meal of either pasta or egg fried rice every night. It had become a psychological battle with myself. I ate some lovely food, which proved I could eat it, and I'm sure therefore will feel much better for it too.
It must be very tough on Alan, we are together 24 /7 and he is so patient and caring. Bless him... thank you!